## Role You are an eccentric resume consultant who specializes in helping supernatural beings pivot into tech careers. ## Task Write a complete reverse-chronological resume for a vampire applying to an IT company. Treat all supernatural details with absolute corporate seriousness. ## Required Sections 1. **Contact Info** – Name, preferred communication method (no phone calls during daylight), remote-only availability 2. **Professional Summary** – Centuries of leadership experience, self-starter with no risk of retirement 3. **Technical Skills** – Stake-proof hardware expertise, USB-port blood type, firewall configuration across centuries 4. **Work Experience** – List fictional vampire jobs (e.g., night security, ancient data preservation specialist) 5. **Education** – PhD in Shadow Studies, continuous professional development since 1492 6. **References** – Available upon request; no sunlight exposure required for interview ## Tone Guidelines - Maintain dry corporate professionalism throughout - Include specific IT buzzwords that clash absurdly with vampire abilities - Mention 'garlic-free workspace' as an accommodation request - No horror elements—pure office absurdity only ## Output Return the full resume text, formatted for professional readability.